I should have known....

Wow....I shouldn't have jumped the gun last week and blogged for the mere sake of full filling requests....I should have just waited and KNOWN that I was due for a "run in"...I mean it had been a while....and what a "run in" it was...
However we have to discuss this week at work..we have two pressing matters...one I can't really deliberate on..for fear of retaliation...but lets just say...one of my employees is NOT a fan of me...like at all..smirk...this is going to make for a fascinating blog at a later date..but unfortunately i seriously cannot discuss the matter just yet as the homegirl already has a lawsuit going on against her former employer..sweet.....sooooooooooo in other news...I am going to Portland Oregon. ( where we are based out of ) ..why you ask??? ohhhh in the ironies of all ironies...there was some "store manager contest" for the month of March at work...I sincerely didn't think I would ever win and originally had never even really read the communication regarding the contest.....it was something like "the store manager in the company who is the highest percentage over plan" gets an all expense paid trip to Portland to meet with the Corporate offices...( fun...NOT )....well you gotta love LA JOLLA for having an early spring break this year....BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN SO OUTOFCONTROL busy this past month...so busy in fact ..that gasp I won...once I saw that I had a legit chance of winning this so called contest about two weeks ago, i won't lie...i being Brooke took it one step further and would email the Corporate offices things such as "Cant wait to see you! Will my ticket be first class?"...so I find out today that alas I am going....I find it rather amusing that I am actually going...I am probs the most UN " insert company name" store manager they have...I mean I love my job...but have no desire to move up....in fact I just wrote that on my review..( and i wonder?! )....I like my little store on my little street with my little crazy girls....no need to mess with anything else....sooooooooooo i can hardly wait to go to Portland this month....bc we all know what happened the first time i was there for a meeting...but lets just say it involved my only ever strip club experience...
ANYWAYS, so i was due to go out this weekend...as i hadn't since St. PATRICKS day...soooo low and behold i couldn't deciede on any of the eighty million pairs of jeans I own and went with the tube dress and boots..always an easy slutty choice....soooooooooo mini and i start out a bar for a bday party..where we start singing lines from Just Friends...then Mini and I depart by our lonesomes..( why oh why is this always the case ) and attempt to get into another bar...Sooo what happens next?? The bouncer at the door gives Mary a sobriety test...yes you read that correctly....The bouncer gave mary a sobriety test...( is this a new practice or something in CA?? ) ..he had her hold up her hands to indicate a stop signal...and then say "1234 , 4321..." he made her do this twice...which obvi she couldn't do the stop signal....so much to her dismay she wasn't allowed in...not before having the line give her a hearty applause.....and mary was legit upset bc she got the 1234, 4321 correct!!!..so where do we go next?? the peanut bar obvi...
So we sit down where i start to order her water...i come back to find her eating someone elses' french fries..no literally the people before us apparently didn't finish their fries..and so mary was eating them...lol....we stay for probs about an hour and are leaving to go home.....after having a few frosty beverages in the interim...
When who is in line...none of than pat mf f of course.......so instead of going home which would probs have been best for all involved at this point.....we go back inside...and i attempt to talk to him...which he entertained for about one hot second..he didn't want anything to do with me...shocker...so then my other friend Kaytee comes to meet us at the bar and I point out pat mf f...and she being crazy Kaytee goes up to him to "make a new friend"...yah well..... i then heard her launch about what a great person i am,how 'great' i am, etc.... he mentions his gf or finance...yah thats right...Kaytee cant remember which one he said....classic...that would make sense......i mean is she the reason he avoids my incessant Saturday night calls and texts?? and better yet who is she?
so now it's really time to go...oh wait who is there? why the 23 year old of course...ugh dear god....we talked because i have the pics to prove it..about what, i'm not sure.....but i do remember throwing in something about his gf wearing crocs..............and people i had sworn to myself that i would never say that to him...whatever...
so i somehow get home...call Hoboken obvi...and while waiting for Hoboken...who do i call...why pf course..not once, not twice...but yes lucky number six times.....
This is not my life....

Wow Babe

Okay Okay so I havent blogged in over a month now...but I've been holing up by lonesome and not going out...so I don't anything to write about...okay cough cough that obvi is not the case...but the SD "run ins" have been kept to a minimum lately....soo I won't be able to bore you all with the details of those..although there are some "minor run ins"...some which include the obvi Seanie Poo Poo at the gym and PF at 7 Eleven at a "normal" hour...obvi had to jerk the car in reverse and dash out before he saw me...as i was still "recovering" from calling him 6 times and texting him 4 times just 3 days earlier...oh yah this was last week....( insert smirk )....but gotta hand it to the kid he responded during sunlight hourse with a "wow babe"...was too embarrassed to respond...um yahhhhhhhh
ANYWAYS, I decided to "blog" tonight with regard to my "one year anniversary"...what the christ is my one year anniversary?? I mean obvi i am NOT dating anyone, so there can't be any one year celebration there...however on March 27th last year , it's been "one year" since I stopped the self pity party...hahaha i would love to tell you all that I'm just kidding...but sadly I'm not....I don't know, I remember waking up one day last year and being like enough is enough....I'm done with feeling sorry for myself...so I took control of my life...and have made things happen as I would like them to...who me a "control freak" no never.....So lets discuss some important updates in the past year...
Um I am still at the same job...who would have thought?!?!?! ME?? going on a two year job anniversary..wow this will be the longest holding job that i've had since college besides club med...wow mom and dad should be so proud...and to be honest work couldn't be going better....yah yah Thank You Mini....and i've had the same assistant manager for seven months now too...but of course she sure doesn't beat out Lil Kim from Jersey who just mysteriously stopped showing up back in July...only to find out her match.com bf that she moved across country for got in a fight less than a month out here....who would have guessed that she couldn't come to work that day bc she was en route Jersey back home..( Sorry Kim i DO love you regardless ) .... I've actually learned how to properly staff my store and not have to do any work related things on my day off....and to boot for some reason the corporate offices love me...might have something to do with the old CEO no longer being here...he thought I kept a "messy store"...has the man ever seen my bedroom??
ANYWAYS.....life continues on....I even went to a doctor after cough five years...and low and behold got my very own prescription to "non-narcotic Lunesta".....FINALLY FIVE YEARS LATER....I knew I would love living in the state of CA..so when i finally go in to fill the prescription..it costs a $40 co pay for HALF the bottle...wtf...that means those little white pills are going to cost me more than $3 a pill...i better have some sweet dreams off those....oh yah and obvi all didn't go as planned the doctors....but i won't bore you with that....cough i find it amusing...and me being me will deal with that at a later point...
In other news life with Mini continues on.......( so i guess meeting mini contributes to my "better well being" in the past year" )...hahaha wherever would i be without her? ...we continue to be absurdly inappropriate and have non meaning ADD conversations. that most other people would never understand....o yah has anyone seen Just Friends with Ana Faris? You should see and hear our rendition...I'm not going to lie...her time is dwindling down here in SD...and she isn't planning on staying this summer...here are my choices...meet her in Greece for my bday or have her not go to Europe at all and stay here all summer? Most obvi i am voting to have her stay.........to be quite honest I'm not going to deal with that until June 01st...so typical Brooke...so if anyone who lives in SD is reading this meet us at Bubs...or Plum...apparently I get confused to which fine establishment I am in sometimes...but chances are we will be there most nights during the week....
On my last note I have some exciting news...I actually placed a formal offer on a condo in SD...yes that means I'm A. here to stay and have surpassed my city average of 2.5 years in the very same city..B. am an adult???....i cant further elaborate without semi freaking out ( insert Lunesta )....but I also cannot imagine mortgage payments until I am 59...literally....no sers 59.....i mean I cannot even plan out next month let alone a YEAR....so in my last ditch effort to keep Mini here...I entice her that she can live with me this summer for a mere $200 a month... I mean that amount doesn't even cover my Visa bill which I just opened an hour ago from this past month..in which every single charge was for a bar in PB....Not my life...as PF said earlier this week...WOW BABE......oh yeah and on Sunday bring on the Cadbury Cream Eggs.....i think that will be the perfect breakfast for my Stoli dinner and Hoboken pizza 3am snack...
PS. So since the 27th is technically my one year anniversary date...I assure you there will be a blog to follow....

I should stop going to the peanut infested bar...

I really know how to throw myself the worlds' best pity party......yawn yawn...and to be quite honest, i don't even have any major complaints to "complain" about right now....i mean life as a generalization is going good...so then why did i feel so "sad" all week??
Well anyone in the immediate entourage knows the beginning of the "sad" day..and quite honestly I don't want to blog that story in particular...so the week continues on with no glorified highlights....its raining in san diego..yes people it does actually rain here a few times a year..and cold...well cold enough that i couldn't wear my flip flops one day.....and it's january..so work is slow..so slow that my boss flew in...ohhhhh people i've got news...i mean lets be honest..this is the longest job i've kept since Club Med..reaching my 2 year anniversary in May....but lets be honest..it's bc i dont have a boss..LOL..literally i have someone "check" on me every 4 months??...i can def live with that..so she came in..stayed an hour...made some jokes...and left...i then received a thank you email...saying how much "fun" I and the staff are...LOL...if she only knew..i mean we all know that Mini is considered management right??..best decision i ever made...so anyways.....
The week continues on...I write my second ever email on the match dot com.....i wonder how richie poo poo is doing in icrap anyways....seeing that he still checks his match site..lol...but anyways back to hottie #2...I got the standard "thanks but no thanks email"...wow didn't even know that was a feature on the site....now this site is getting a little out of control...i won't lie...i get many emails and "winks"..now "winks" those are great..at least have the balls to email me...but what can i say?...I'm particular..and well I can find "something wrong" with each individual who contacts me....lol...i know i will be eternally single...but at the moment I'm okay with that.....so after feeling"rejected" two times in one week...i KNEW i should not go out this weekend..in fact i said "i shouldn't go out"......"it won't be good"............i mean i know what will happen....
So on Saturday.....I leave work early...was feeling so "low" i buy myself flowers...I got my favorite ones..starlight gazers..in case anyone is really reading this.....I go to the gym.....I come home...I am literally 50 50 on going out...i should not go..i should not go...Oh and i must add, Mini is not going out...She is "staying in"..yes everyone "mini is staying in"..why you all ask?? perhaps it has something to do with the fact that she went out last fri, sat, sun, tues, thurs and fri...and well since we all know she averages 15 plus drinks a night...oh right..did i mention she had been "asked to leave" from three separate bars in PB this week? now the problem is that the 3 bars are ones that we frequent...and so if the girl doesn't want to go out..I won't pressure her....it could be for the better..besides she met a boy....details in a later blog....
But Mean Kim T is back...and boy had i missed her.....so last minute i decide at 8pm fine i will go out..now i know....i am going to get very drunk..i mean i said i was going to get very drunk if i go out.....so i decide to "surprise" kim and i put on a dress WITH THE BOOTS..( mean Kim T. being the fashionista that she is who also met Mr. Marc Jacobs last week too )...now this would be my 2 time EVER wearing a dress ( and never with the slut style boots ) because you all know how i feel about wearing dresses out..but you know what?? i felt like it..and this is san diego..where less is more....( in more ways than one.. ) so we go out and we were having fun....go to our second dive bar and at around 1 a.m . decide to leave....so we walk outside..and i said "can we just look at bubs?" now bubs is the peanut infested place which i have written about before......but Kim wants pizza...( hey i wouldn't have to order from them one hour later)...so we are literally on the sidewalk...when WHO DO I SEE?
OH YOU KNOW IT...PAT MF FORREST....now i said in my last blog that i 'ran into him' at 7 Eleven.....um yah right..i called him that night.....did anyone really think that i bumped into him at MY 7 Eleven..i mean come on now...the boy for the first time ever had answered one of my saturday night calls....( see his fingers arent broken! ) Anyways,i have not called him or texted him since then ( two weeks ago ) bc i'm on some new weird "thing"...i'm done with him and his nonsense...no really people, i have had no desire to call him...and fyi two weeks is considered in Brooke time a long time not to contact someone..so now when i see him on the sidewalk literally ... i was like NONONONONONONONONO.....pat no...literally i looked at him and was like "no i cant see you!"
so he was like "brooke hey lets go into bubs and get a drink"...so kim and entourage go on their merry pizza way and pf and i go inside and proceed to order drinks....have i mentioned that i look like a hooker???...ugh yah he also ordered shots ( classy typical pf style ) so now i am beyond drunk....and as upsetting as this to write...one of the only things i remember was saying something like "i called you every single saturday for six months and you never responded!" ( at least i acknowledge my drunk calling ... smile ) ..... "you hurt my feelings!" ( can you tell i talked to the shrinkie sister earlier in the day... )... he then tells me how "mad" he was about the whole "mini pranking business"....direct quote "Brooke i was so mad at you i was never going to talk to you again!" Oh really patrick??? ..... i sincerely don't really know how/what happened next...i'm not being shady when i write that..i just don't remember what in the world we talked about...like at all...yah i know....it probably wasnt good...but oh well....i pieced together that i walked home ( alone )...made a pit stop at 7 Eleven..as evidenced by my coffee cup this morning......
So when i woke up by myself...with popcorn all over my floor....i was like omg what on earth happened?? yah your guesses are as good as mine...so i texted him ( one final farewell text people...cut me some slack ) "Um okay i just woke up...crap i was really drunk last night...and to be honest i only remember bits, sor if i was being an ass...."
This was sent at 7:32 a.m.....still no response....
Yah I don't want to know either....

Mini Skirts, Big Boots & Stoli Don't Mix....

Well she's back.....Mini that is...so of course I've got a "blog" for everyones' entertainment....now the irony of this particular blog is that this one goes all the way back to one of my first ever "blogs" written back in August....anyways......
Firstly we have to talk about this past week pre-Mini's arrival...I was feeling saucy on Thursday...so saucy that I chopped off all my hair...no really...I am calling myself Grandma Peter Pan.....my hair is really short...but as my niece says "It's just hair, it'll grow back..." Yes Madison I agree, however when you only have five pieces to begin with..it makes the process seem that much longer......So yah I chopped the hair on Thursday...I think it was in some sort of unconscience to meeting my realtor..yes you read that correctly...I guess it's time to grow up and buy a place....that's what adults do these days isn't it....now this my friends is going to be a stressful process I can already tell...let me just give you a tidbit..did not realize that renovations/upgrades ie. new countertops in the exact same apartment complex for the exact same unit could raise the price of a condo upwards of $50,000...um are you kidding me??? so when she asks if i would consider a "fixer upper" , I know we are going to have problems..bc no i am the least handy girl ever...i mean i don't even own a screwdriver....but i can't exactly afford cherry stained wood floors either.....but i can't deal with that right now.....
So Mini me came "home".....I got to see her ( or rescue her from her rm's Jim Morrison bf ) on friday...we confirmed our plans for saturday...soooooooooo yah...I must preface this story in that for the first time in three years in SD i decided to wear a skirt..yah i don't do skirts...or dresses for that matter..i mean we all remember what happened last time i wore a dress....and especially NOT with the big calf boots...lol i was feeling REALLY saucy....what is that expression? you act as you dress or something....so anyways a slew of us go to a bar in nearby PB.....where I also met up with the 24 Hour Fitness Crew....that was fun until I was informed that I was called "slouching Brooke"...i was rather confused but my question was answered when they told me that think its funny that i slouch and sleep on the elliptical...wow that is nice...but HELLO i HAVE to go to the gym no matter how tired i am..i mean i might see Seanie Poo Poo...lol just like last wednesday...( thank goodness he has not seen Peter Pan do yet... ) so anyways i somehow decide to be "mature" and not drink too much ( i mean i was with a bunch of trainers after all, isn't alks bad for the body? lol ) so mini and i go to the biggest dive ever at exactly midnight....( time to start drinking properly...lol ) not quite sure why we decided that we HAD to wait till midnight to go...so we go and decide to go next door to the peanut-infested bar otherwise known as Bubs..well we couldn't get in...as Mary had left her ID at the other bar, so after picking up her purse and entire life contents' from the sidewalk, as she was convinced her ID was hidden in her purse and proceeded to dump her purse on the sidewalk....we finally get back in..when we walk in and mary sees her "boy" from the Seanie Poo run in night...oh i didn't mention she went home with this "gentleman" that night...so she goes in and was "upset" with him as he didn't get her number...( details on that to follow )...so i tell him its my 29th bday...so he wants to buy shots for my sister and I...lol why these lies come out is beyond me....so four free drinks and 45 minutes later....he has bought my sister and I ( me being named Lydia of course )...i then realize that i am on my own some to get home...mary has a new friend...and fyi i have the pics to prove it...sigh how do we start with 12 and it always end up being just mini and I? and then just me?? .....
Sooooooooo i do what i do every saturday night...I walk home......I couldnt run this time since i was wearing the hooker boots...now i haven't actually been admitting this...but i should just let everyone know that i would guesstimate that i call pf ohhh um just about every single saturday night btwn the hours of midnight and four anywhere from 1 to 12 times a night every single saturday beginning in august..this is embarrassing..esp since he has not ONCE responded..and yes i do leave VMs too...ugh and yes i am 28...however sometime in late Dec. , pf decides to respond to one of my sober "day texts" ( yes people i agree you would think that i would get the hint...but no not me ) so somehow we start texting..well i should write, he actually starts RESPONDING to me..yah five months later...we are making progress...he likes my rhyming "wakie wakie eggs and bakie" text messages....so i guess it should come as no surprise that i somehow meet up with him on my walk home at the one and only 7 Eleven..oh my beloved 7 Eleven...this is funny..so funny tha i see him and can only start laughing.....i mean what do you say to someone who you apparently want to talk so desperately to for the past five months??? i was actually pretty quiet..well lets be honest...not really...but whatever......I won't bore you with the details..however I will leave you all with this one...."well you know I'm deploying on June 01st for a year...." smile...Ugh why wouldn't you be??!! Be sure to say hi to richie poo poo from match dot com for me.....so yah....i don't even know what else to elaborate on this one...i'm sure we will pick up right where we left off...aka i will call you on saturday night! LOL...i should have used that one...so i guess i will see you in what five? six? months??
That's all i got...this fab story complete with a bad haircut...Boy, I sure am glad Mini Me has come back to play in SD...life just wasn't the same without her.....

SOS

Sersiously...not to be like whatever...but here it goes...So I thought I would just post a generalized update on the past month without Mini....life has been relatively uneventful...wait i scratch that, but none the less I will just fill in the past month with a general re-cap and the brief synopsis of last night...
Some things to report on the last month...so this whole match dot com biznas..um yah no...i'm really not into it...like at all...i dont know if its me me, or just the whole match thing, but whatever...i guess i AM more into looks than i care to admit..but whatever it is what it is...however there was one person who caught my interest..now his deal ... is from NY lived in Mass but recently relocated to SD..yah you know what that means..marine much..but whatever he is hot and his arms are legit bigger than my head...so we do the natural brooke communication and start with email and eventually graduate to texting..lol...he is definitely really funny and i know we will get along...so in my little head i "plan" on having meet us out this next weekend..and to be honest, i think its funny he hadn't tried to meet up just yet..so anyways this past Thursday ( sigh everyone Survivor is on temporary break ) night we are texting away..for probably an hour..now mind you we are discussing gambling...like hello...does he not know that my sister is a shrink who works at a gambling intervention center?? so him telling me that he plays poker alot...so anyways mid "normal" texting...i recieve this "there is something you should know. The reason I haven't pushed to meet up with you is bc i am leaving for Iraq next Friday for a year. Thought you should know." Exact verbatim.....um okay Richie Poo Poo ~ then why are you on match...but wait ! he still wants to KIT via email...LOL...I hate match dot com ....
Soooo yah in other exciting news...Maria has agreed to go out this past weekend...this is major....I am excited....However Maria and I together can be not so good...I almost forgot about it......until of course I woke up this morning...so let me preface the story of our neighbor Devlin...he is hot..he is 30 something..owns the condo across the way in our complex...has semi-gf?...we don't know....but see "blondie" sporadically around..she is annoying...so anyways Devlin is hot and it's unfornuate when i tell you that LITERALLY he has only seen me very early in the morning in pajamas or late at night with Maria again in pajamas on the communal porch..literally he has never seen me with make up or jeans..its sad...we have only talked maybe two or three times, as i only see him EARLY and i refuse to even open my mouth with bed head....however this past week he stumbled home with "blondie" and talked with maria and i ( again me wearing gross mis matched pajamas ) and was wasted and funny.....so i don't know what came over me on saturday a.m...at aroudn 630 when i saw him with huge Diors, huge Abercrombie sweats and huge Northface , to actually talk to him when i saw him in the garage..me en route the 7 Eleven for coffee, him i dont know doing what, however i took off the shades ( this is major people ) and asked him what he was doing this weekend and he informed me it was his bday ( age unoted, we know mid 30s ) ~ so i invited him over if he wanted to drink with maria and i before we went out, he said maybe...well who shows up in our apt at 930?.....so anyways we talk...this is normal..I AM SOBER..he asks me why i get up so early..like hello does he think that i enjoy getting up at 6am??...i ask him why HE is up so early..and he cant sleep either...lol..we would make a fab match..he declines our invite to join us when i informed him on our way out that if he didn't come, i would be sure to bang on his door when i got home, he said he would like that...lol...does he not know me???....
So back to Johnny V's...where i harass the bartender in the back who doesn't think my little "i know you" joke is funny anymore..i really gotta stop going there...nothing good rarely comes out of that place..well...but whatever.....so Maria is up to her old antics...and has a man in tow....so I am forced to "run/walk" home...lol....I get home just as Maria and "guest" arrive with the new friend Tam...i order Hoboken Pizza..where they say literally "we will only come if you won't pass out this time" ~ great so the pizza place remembers me as the girl who passes out?!?! classy...so after that call, I bang on Devlins door at approximately 2 ish...and anyone who knows me...knows this wasnt a knock..i was banging...and went back downstairs ten minutes later...and banged again..lol..i'm funny.....so in the interim of waiting for the pizza, i turn on the comp, manage to myspace Seanie Poo Poo ~ yes i am that pathetic...and i HATE the myspace for not being able to delete a message .... try to sleep but cant.....so what do i do...i do what i do best..i call pf....ohhhhh did i mention four times...and only texted him five times....but here is the kicker on this one....Mr. Forrest has taken to actually start texting me back about a month ago.....so he goes three months without talking to me and now responds...fasinating....but whatever......so yah this is my life......someone needs to save me from myself....
I have been holed up in the apt all day..as i do NOT want to see my next door neighbor..lol..as in we share the same patio furniture....lol...so there i was watching Bad Santa ( its hangover Sunday ) and what do i hear at 9pm?! Someone is banging banging on our door.....i am dying....it's Devlin....so i do what i do best....i ignore it and pretend this is not my life...
PS. Mini is coming back early...as in next Saturday...stay posted!

There's no "ho" in holiday this year......

So i haven't blogged since Mini's bday....and I had been planning on blogging this past week...especially since it has been a terrible week with scrooges in the store...I was going to write about the shi**er paying me a visit last saturday...however she seems to have gotten her a** problem in check and did not need to use our bathroom and need to utilize my sh*t cleaning services.....in the interim....i have been dealing with the most evil people known to man and had this woman literally yelling at me all week informing me that myself and staff were rude..UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM yah right lady...i get paid to be nice to people......and to be quite honest, i'm really good at it....which takes me to thursday night...
Now lets be honest...i haven't gone out on a thursday night in probs over a year...however it had been a painfully long week and Mini called me wanting to go out...mini knowing that something so unplanned was unlike me , but you know what...i could not deal with another person wearing our clothes and attempting to return them...so you know what..i was going out...and going out hard...bc when i tell you that customers seem to think that it is perfectly acceptable to be rude to people that is not an under statement...what is it about the holidays that brings out the worst in people??s
So anyways i forgo my Survivor obsession and hop in the shower after returning from the gym...where i force myself to work out insanely long thinking that seanie poo will show his darling face in there if i stay for just five more minutes...but at least i have toned arms which i have seanie to thank for...bc i would never lift weights in the gym if i didnt think that seanie poo was going to come...omg did i just type that?? haha......whatever i dont care............but to no avail..he wasn't coming tonight....
....so Mini and i go out.....where we run into Bunny Boiler wanna be Kimmie Cakes..who fyi has some gastro issue which is quite funny consimdering the girl is tiny and eats hot dogs from a stand every night at midnight..the night was "normal" by all intents and purposes.....however we deciede to switch locations and end up going to the biggest dive bar ever in PB..where they literally have peanuts on the floor....i normally cant stand this place but i had been drinking AND it was 50 degrees in sd which is considered "cold"....and we all know i dont like being cold whatsoever....so we go across the street.....
OBVI there are 20 people total in the bar...seanie poo being one of them...i am shaking....i cant take my life...how and why does this sh*t happen to me? san diego has 1.3 million people why seanie at THIS DIVE ON A THURSDAY??? so i do the mature thing and ignore him...i know he must see me ... considering that there are 20 people total in this place...so i order the double drink WITH a shot.....( compliments of Helen informing me that this what i am supposed to do ) . .... so anyways Mini h aving been there for a total of five minutes has already made friends...and we are talking to these people...who if i remember correctly now that i think about it....are FROM san diego..which is a feat in itself...anyways seanie leaves the bar with girl.....this is not a big deal..i am being a big girl all grown up and mature...its probably for the better....
BUT comes back in ten minutes later???.......and comes up to me....would love to tell you all about our convo...but it is broken at this point..however i will tell you what i do remember even though i'm attempting to erase this from my memory...something along the lines of "brooke i want to be friends with you....but you are crazy....you got it in your head that you want to hook up with me and i am not being an ass when i say that..you decided when you met me that thats what you wanted....." Me : ( mouth agape ) "seanie poo ( oh yah i now call that to his face ) get over yourself....that is NOT true........." then i laugh and say : "okay ..fine you are right...you are funny...haaa i think we could be friends but seriously sean wtf??" i dont know people.....the conversation continues...i do remember.....but lets just say that the killer of the conversation was "brooke trust my memory, i don't drink!" I do end up talking to seanie poo for at least 20 minutes about what i dont know...and i dont want to know....well thats not exactly true...i do remember...i just wanna take an eraser and it make it all go away!
Then i look at him perplexed......he is right...he doesn't drink.............i dont know what to say at this point......i mean what am i supposed to say? "Geez seanie poo i somehow know your flipping scheddie bc my little spies/friends in SD have seen you and tracked you all last wknd and i know all your movements??" I mean wtf???......UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i am getting embarassed as i type this....bc i am remembering our conversation...i am not going to lie...i don't know how to venture at this point....i mean he IS funny and insanely good looking but i sincerely don't think i have ever been called out on "my shit" as i was called out last night.....i mean you don't do that to me! it just doesn't work that way......
So i will leave you all with this..."operation Mini goes on vacation" officially begins on the 15th...Mini is going home for a month and mini and i came up with a "project" to keep me busy for the month that she is gone...haha i don't want to spill the secret but it is good stuff people...so be prepared to hear the stories soon.....but lets just say that if left to my self destructive ways, this "project" will be good for me...otherwise the things i would come up with on my own aren't generally good for me...but i will be going on sober dates...no you read that correctly....no keep laughing...but i will........
So until then... i have one more week with Mini until Santa comes to visit.....

Mini's Bday Fiasco

Of course you will all love this one...so i left the last blog with the nice old message from Seanie Poo Poo about the bunny boiler...and no i did NOT respond....i mean all i wanted to do at this point was go on my much needed vacay to wash dc...i needed out of sd asap!!....sooooo i take the once again mis-routed flight to my sisters' the next day.....i turn off my phone like a normal human...when what should i wake up to the next day??
Ohhhhhhhhhhh I don't know a text from Kim T...who is Kim T you ask?? Well Kim T. is one of my employees' who in a former life i would be good friends with...i refer her to as "mean girls"...bc well she is mean...she is one of those girls who is pretty enough to just be mean...simply put...well the text says "sorry"...THEN i have another text from Mini asking if i talked to Kim T...then i check the VM...what i can conjure from her drunken message is something like this "seanie poo.....plum crazy..took care of bunny boiler situation"...i am like "omg what happened??" so i call her sorry a** at 9 am and wake her up....I am utterly confused at this point...bc Kim and Sean don't even know each other..so what happened? ohhhhh something along the lines of she was out at a bar and recognized seanie poo ( ONLY FROM ME PYSCHO SHOWING HER HIS PAGE ) and Kim T. walked up to him and said "do you like to boil bunnies?" now seanie never having met her said "that is so funny, i just used bunny boiler in an email this week to someone...." kim : "Um yah i know...i'm friends with Brooke..." now obvi an awkward convo ensues....so then i check the handy ole' myspace and i have a message from Mr. Sean apologizing for "offending me, thinking i would think the obscure reference was funny"...um yah sean not so much...what is funny about being referred to as a Sharon Stone pyscho from Fatal Attraction?? UGHHHHHHHHH I mean ONLY I would have a friend walk up to sean and do this...as if i dont appear pyscho enough...but from what I was able to gather from both of them, neither of them liked one another...and as Kim T stated " I only knew it was Sean from his eyebrows....he NEEDS to get them waxed...I mean hello?"
So three weeks pass and as i refuse to go to the gym from 5-7 anymore...no word from Sean...so I bite the big one and invite him out for Mini Me's bday this past Friday...now obvi this is going to be a blackout night sure to be fun....AND i will be going out with Kim T. too.....so Seanie Poo responds "thanks for the invite maybe i'll stop by"....um yahhhhhhhhhhhh.........so what do i do right before going out on Friday?? oh I dont know..i deciede to chop my hair...it's time to be crazy people......so somehow on the day of Mini's birth I find myself alone with Kim T. making fun of people at the previously mentioned bar....we decide at 12:30 to go find Mini Me who has wandered into a different random bar at this point...i mean Mini was incoherent at like 11 so the fact that she is still out is a miracle in itself.....so we get in...find Mini me...on the floor...no literally she was on the floor....and refused to get up...Kim and I don't care...let her sit...when Kim says "Um Brooke, Seanie Poo is right behind me......" i am like "what?!!!!!!!!" now mind you i was already ten drinks in..so i do what any awkward situation calls for..take 2 more shots...i do the shots and ponce right on over to seanie poo and say "sooooooooooo are we going to boil some bunnies tonight?" now at this point, i dont know who is more embarrassed...sean or me..I mean not only did i invite him out for the night and he didn't show...NOW i run into him at a random bar...this is good stuff people....it's this type of crap that makes me laugh everyday......we continue to talk....with Kim T. walking by with her hands literally over her face...i think she thinks that sean won't be able to seee her if she covers her face...um yah i dont know either....so then he asks me how i figured out what a bunny boiler was....i fill him in on Urban Dictionary's' handy definition.....then i take it one step further and proceed to tell him how the irony is , "I am a bunny boiler..." and tell him about the "investigative research" i've done on him from a mutual high school friend..um yah this is akward...and the two girls' he was with behind him aren't helping the situation...so i say "um seanie poo ( yes people i guess i call him that to his face now too ) those girls are giving me dirty looks....." and he responds "well that is because i'm talking to you" me : "Sean please don't be that full of yourself...." so i claim having to go the bathroom...find Kim T. and Mini....Kim at this point is pleading to leave to find the hot-dog stand..and Mary isn't speaking English...when who should i see next??? Ohhhhhhhh i don't know...lets go with the 23 year olds' roomate...i see him and scream "take me to ______________ " so i go back on the dance floor find the 23 year old who i haven't seen/spoken to since August...hug him.....tell him " I love you ( yes i said these words ) but I am going to go before I make this any more akward....." dont really remember any more details..but he sees Mini Me and says "i'm glad some things haven't changed.." ummmmmmmmm yah.....THEN i deciede I'm not done with Seanie Poo...so like the psycho I am...I go BACK up to him...continue to have a conversation with him....remember virtually nothing...except it was very awkward and then i leave....without failing to tell him he will never see me again bc i will never go to the gym from 5-7 again...yes i remember telling him that....OMG i am psycho.....oh wait I do the typical Brooke thing...take off my six inch heels...and run a block home...walk a block home...run a block home..walk a block home...but not to worry, just for good measure I was able to figure out PF's phone number and call him once on the way...but that's progress right? i only called him once.....
and they say San Diego has a population of 1.3 million people.....how in the world does this happen to me??