Only Me

Okay so in honor of Little Kim's blogs...which I will NEVER be able to compete with..both bc her stories are legit insane....and also I assume she is not working and has all this added free time to blog with.....I have decieded to write my own....so anyways I am going to start with my night last night...which is sincerely only something that would happen to me...I mean people this is preciously why I don't do bad things to begin with...BC I WOULD GET CAUGHT............case in point............so after weeks and weeks of Mini pressuring me to go out with her...I finally caved...I mean just how much trouble could the two of get into??? sooooooooooooooo after purchasing matching "69" shirts which I thought would add a classy touch to our already off-beat personalities..( and if anyone really knows us, there is irony about this shirt but anyways.....).we were ready to go....now I should preface this story with I have been having Mary "prank call" "pf"....for the past few weeks...i know i know, so mature for a 27 year old..but whateves, the girl is hysterical and you should hear the crap that actually comes out of her mouth....so "pf" has taken the pranking to the next level to not only listening to her stories, but even taken to CALLING HER BACK which would admittingly annoy me.....so I tell Mini to "chillax" and lay off calling him, as he appears even too busy to pick up the phone to call me these days.....so anyways, back to last night...we have some cocktails and are on our way...we walk into the first bar and go up to the bar to order some vodka shots naturally and who do I see in the bar? none other than pf himself....not that it has been two months since i've last seen him and one month since we've even spoken......so at this point i am still remotely sober....and what is a girl to do other than down some shots and walk on up....soooooo yah....of course he is oh so sweet...and so nice blah blah....at this point i think its best mary not get introduced...bc well lets be honest..i am not about to admit that i had my 'mini me' PRANK CALL HIM...bc that would just be pathetic...so what haps not even five mins later? he sees marys' matching "69" shirt and i introduce him to my sister...which seems to confuse him.....but whatever he never listened anyways to anything that came out of my mouth, some maybe i do have a younger sister...he asks her some basic question before he goes "I know you..............you are Kimberlie"..not that mary and i have distinct voices or anything.... "kimberlie" aka marys' pranking alias.....um yah....so lets just say THIS IS NOT MY LIFE!!! and so what is a girl to do other than binge drink the night away with her Mini...who classically gets herself so drunk she is not allowed back in the bar.....the night was a mess....but the HIGHLIGHT of the night is waking up next to the "23 year old" as I so eloquently label him...and hearing "Good Morning my Beluga baby bear" fromMary downstairs...my eyes widen...I don't know how/where this happenend...and then I see the broken candy braclets that I so maturely brought out last night on the floor...so I do what I do best...I smile and laugh and say my "i cant control the situation i can only control my reaction" mantra....