Okay...so I'm not sure where to even begin with the little story of this past weekend.....so I guess I will start with my 'day off' on Friday...naturally I slept in................ until the late hour of 7:15...so I obvi call Mini as i'm sure she is awake too...obvi she is...and so we laugh and talk and my day is off to a fairly normal start....mini me stories and 7 Eleven coffee...its classic....so then i go on my habitual ocd little run...and pass the inifinite amount of hot guys who also are running...one day i may muster up a hello....who am i kidding...i doubt i ever will....so anyways then i make the executive decision to go to the beach...i know i know..i said i wasnt going to lie out after labor day...butttttttttttttttt my dermatogolist appointment isn't for a while...surely my sunburn could fade by then.....soooooooooooo i literally just step onto the beach when mini calls......i am annoyed..i know she is at work...well she was calling to inform me that an applicant had just come by to the store...applying for my job....as it is apparently posted on craigslist...yes you read that correctly...my job is posted on craigslist....so i am like omg wtf....i have a minor freak out...but i refuse to go back to my apartment to verify that my job is indeed posted.....cut me a break...i suffer from tanorexia....nothing is going to get in the way of quality beach time on my day off...and then of course i start thinking of the newfound possibilities unemploymennt could bring me...i would really be tan....and really have time to clean my room...lol...so after the standard sun time of 10-2..........i decide to have my fake nails taken off....people this is the first time in five years that i haven't had fake nails...but i have been taking the "professional" advice which i pay good money for and have been making great efforts to indeed 'break outside the box'...and this nail thing is outside the box...okay the real reason?? i kid you not...i dont have two hours every two weeks to have my nails re-didded...its getting annoying...so then i finally get home and decide that i am NOT going to go through HR and i am going to call my boss directly...who me confront someone??...ohh yes times are a changing...soooooooooooooo long story short it was 'a mistake'...tsk tsk...i wont bore you all with the details...but i do somehow think it was...and if it isn't.....well then more blogs will surely follow..as i will have a ton of more free time...lol...a 'mistake'...yah i'm still wondering too...
Lets fast forward to saturday night...okay so everyone who knows me...knows my 'thing' about wearing dresses out...i dont understand it and i am often horrified when i go out and see what some of the girls' are attempting to pass off as dresses...i mean there is barely even enough fabric to cover their....oh never mind...so anyways because i had promised Emily many months ago that one day i will wear a dress....i decieded saturday night was the night...and obvi the dress of choice was this skany little number....i mean if i'm gonna do it..i'm gonna do it right people..lol...complete with the six inch heels....now these six inch heels i have owned for over two years but have yet to wear...bc honestly they are six inches and not pracitical...ie i cant walk in them...sober....yah you know where this story is going.....
Soooooooooooooooooooooooo eight drinks later.....i have enough 'courage' to finally talk to Mr. Rock N' Republic....i kid you not...and i try not to be this superficial in my life..........but this guy was HOT....100 % he is hot...i just wanna say hi...so i do the oh so mature thing...and have Emily talk to his friend and find out if he is single, straight, etc...lol.........he is.........so Emily tells friend to have him come over....yes i am 28...i introduce myself...oh the guy is from Philly...and gasp he went to college....omg i met a hot guy in sd...AND he finished school...this is a rarity to have both....so we start talking and he's funny...the convo is going well...okay fine so i kept forgetting his name....and had to have emily repeatedly ask him....so then little miss Emily walks on over and declares that "She is leaving and he is to take care of me." Gee thanks emily...as if me talking to a boy isn't akward enough..........she leaves...and i turn to him and say "for the record, i can take of myself'...................he laughs.......and suggests a drink...so we walk to the bar approximately ten feet away...what happens next? ohhhhh i dont know....i fall backwards.........on my ass...literally........................in fact i have a bruise to prove it........everyone crowds around...i stand up and i am legitimately SO embarassed..this is bad.........sooooooooooo i say "OHMYGOD" and speed walk out of the bar........oh wait i cant find my way out...and need the assistance of the bouncer...who finds this hysterical....
my life is one big comedy...it really is....so what do i next? i enlist in the help of mini...and in pure creeper style...she finds him on the myspace...and we are now friends.....
hopefully this story is to be continued....but who knows...after all this is me.....
Monday, September 24, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Summer Re-Cap
Hmmm...yah I know people...I haven't blogged in about a month...but fyi I also moved and was without the Internet for a considerable amount of time...I orginally planned on blogging Labor Days' festivities...but since they proved both hot, sweaty, and not blackout drunk I will not bore you with a blog on that weekend....however I decided to "re-cap" my summer in SD 2007....
I suppose it's fair to ascertain that my summer officially began the wknd prior to Mem Day in Boston...since I wasn't blogging back in May, I will just summarize that weekend with a long mis-routed flight into Boston which left me shivering cold in the 40 degree weather on Joanie's porch at 2am only to have "MC" show up with her 30 minutes later...um yah....even two xanax that night still left me with not sleeping....but then again it WAS "MC" and well i spent a good 4 years of my life wasted on thoughts about him..i still sure would love to have seen "joanie helping him get a cab"....yah lol.....As if that wasn't enough lets not forget the next night having "Chops" come to Joanie's apt at 2am as well....( hmm is this 2am thing a pattern for me? ) - yah and again i was sober....people how i survived that wknd is beyond me.....
But whateves...I was excited to be back in the land of 70 degree weather the next week...and especially excited to see "pf"....back from a long overdue deployment in ICrap...oh yah we saw each other all right....again at 2am...and low and behold i didn't see him again until the night of my original blog...shocker i know...( please note sarcasm )....
The summer continued on...with some new other developments in my life...seeing that this "pf" situation was going nowhere fast...I had to move on...no really i did.....so I "BAS" broke down and went on three "sober" dates...which is NO easy feat for me...and then i obvi got bored with that nonsense and frankly it wasn't all that fun...i just wanted to prove i could do it..like helloo.....and he was 33....a little too mature for me shall we say??
Obvi there is/was the work drama...as there always is at that place...I mean we have the no-call/no-show from the girl whom I'll call "BL"...which was probs for the better.......as she was more concerned with weight lifting and eating cauliflower...but none the less, this was def going to interfere with my "wknd activities".....Then bring on Lil Kim from the Dirty Jersey....I sure hope my 4'11'' friend from Jersey learned her lesson about meeting peeps from Match.com and moving across the country with the m.....all under a month no less....needless to say they broke up....and once again i was without an assistant......and to think that gasp I had another sober date that week lined up that i had to cancel...lol....
Sigh...but Mini and Jas saved the day......and stepped it up....so then of course i had to 'thank' Mini....and what started out as "one night of fun" turned into hmmm shall we say a debauchery/mess on every single saturday night for the rest of the summer.....I have spoken at length about "mini" and i wont bore you all with the details of our shared neurosis.....but i won't lie...our messy saturdays are/were a ton of fun...and most people should only be so lucky to be included....lol jk.....
In the interim other odds and ends occurred...which are no less significant in my life....some include......meeting Debra who in her boredom vacuums walls.....meeting the "23 year old" who chose a girl who wears Crocs over me......finding a fabulous new apt beach side no less...avoiding the dentist successfully for three months....cleaning up two 'messes' of customers who have 'shit' in our clothes...not once but TWICE this summer....OHHH learning how to delete numbers from my phone and NOT drunkenly dial them anymore...( this is what my shrinkie just might even call progress....)
Sigh yes people I have grown up just a little bit this summer...I don't have any idea what the fall entails....but I'll be sure to keep you all in the loop of any major changes/stories...
I suppose it's fair to ascertain that my summer officially began the wknd prior to Mem Day in Boston...since I wasn't blogging back in May, I will just summarize that weekend with a long mis-routed flight into Boston which left me shivering cold in the 40 degree weather on Joanie's porch at 2am only to have "MC" show up with her 30 minutes later...um yah....even two xanax that night still left me with not sleeping....but then again it WAS "MC" and well i spent a good 4 years of my life wasted on thoughts about him..i still sure would love to have seen "joanie helping him get a cab"....yah lol.....As if that wasn't enough lets not forget the next night having "Chops" come to Joanie's apt at 2am as well....( hmm is this 2am thing a pattern for me? ) - yah and again i was sober....people how i survived that wknd is beyond me.....
But whateves...I was excited to be back in the land of 70 degree weather the next week...and especially excited to see "pf"....back from a long overdue deployment in ICrap...oh yah we saw each other all right....again at 2am...and low and behold i didn't see him again until the night of my original blog...shocker i know...( please note sarcasm )....
The summer continued on...with some new other developments in my life...seeing that this "pf" situation was going nowhere fast...I had to move on...no really i did.....so I "BAS" broke down and went on three "sober" dates...which is NO easy feat for me...and then i obvi got bored with that nonsense and frankly it wasn't all that fun...i just wanted to prove i could do it..like helloo.....and he was 33....a little too mature for me shall we say??
Obvi there is/was the work drama...as there always is at that place...I mean we have the no-call/no-show from the girl whom I'll call "BL"...which was probs for the better.......as she was more concerned with weight lifting and eating cauliflower...but none the less, this was def going to interfere with my "wknd activities".....Then bring on Lil Kim from the Dirty Jersey....I sure hope my 4'11'' friend from Jersey learned her lesson about meeting peeps from Match.com and moving across the country with the m.....all under a month no less....needless to say they broke up....and once again i was without an assistant......and to think that gasp I had another sober date that week lined up that i had to cancel...lol....
Sigh...but Mini and Jas saved the day......and stepped it up....so then of course i had to 'thank' Mini....and what started out as "one night of fun" turned into hmmm shall we say a debauchery/mess on every single saturday night for the rest of the summer.....I have spoken at length about "mini" and i wont bore you all with the details of our shared neurosis.....but i won't lie...our messy saturdays are/were a ton of fun...and most people should only be so lucky to be included....lol jk.....
In the interim other odds and ends occurred...which are no less significant in my life....some include......meeting Debra who in her boredom vacuums walls.....meeting the "23 year old" who chose a girl who wears Crocs over me......finding a fabulous new apt beach side no less...avoiding the dentist successfully for three months....cleaning up two 'messes' of customers who have 'shit' in our clothes...not once but TWICE this summer....OHHH learning how to delete numbers from my phone and NOT drunkenly dial them anymore...( this is what my shrinkie just might even call progress....)
Sigh yes people I have grown up just a little bit this summer...I don't have any idea what the fall entails....but I'll be sure to keep you all in the loop of any major changes/stories...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)