Oh Sh*t!!

Okay....so I'm fairly confident that everyone remembers the mass email that I sent out last June....in case you forgot, I am going to cut and paste it for you...

Um okay....so in all my stories of retail...i sincerely think this one takes the cake....so lets see...i am ringing up a customer when honestly IT STINKS SO BADLY IN THE STORE... i am like "omg wtf is that?" i see a little kid and naturally assume that it's the young kid, but as their are multiple people in the store, i can't be certain...so the girl i am ringing up...( approximately 20 years old? ) was like "i am just going to use your bathroom"...now our regulars know we have a bathroom and so i am like "Oh okay, Mary can walk you back" Now mind you, mary is the girl i call "mini me" who is the 21 year old version of myself....and since my customer had just been in yesterday....this was not a problem...in fact i remembered to ask her about the John Mayer concert...so one minute later, Mary is crying towards the back of the store and she runs up to me and whispers to me "brooke she shit her pants......there is shit all down her pants" i am like "huh no way...." so in the interim i am trying to maintain some sort of professional decorum...while Mary continues to laugh hysterically.......so ten minutes later the customer emerges from the back wearing the new pair of capris that she had just purchased...and bolts out the store....and sure enough i FUMIGATE the bathroom and see the soiled pair in the trash....i am like OMG PEOPLE..... i mean this is naturally my worst germaphobe nightmare....and MIND YOU IT STINKS THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE store now...so i take the whole trash can outside, as i have decided we are just going to trash the whole thing......so i literally freak out and super clean everything while simultaneously spraying Lysol....Now this story wouldn't be so bad...IF THE SAME THING DIDN'T HAPPEN TWENTY MINUTES LATER...SHE COMES BACK IN!!! and purchases another pair of pants.... i mean i felt like i was on Punk'D or one of those MTV shows where they judge you to see your reaction or something....and then asks to use the bathroom!! I HAVE to ask "um are you okay???" ( this is the compassion in me ) - and then while she is back there, i start freaking out again, as i am like "omg there is no trash can back there, since i had so conviently tossed it twenty minutes earlier!!!" and sure enough she emerges and so kindly left her other dirty pair on our shelf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and runs out the store.......so i repeated the whole cleaning "process" again...as i reminded my boss who called later, i don't believe that this is in my job description....





So why do I re-bring up this issue?? OHHHHHHHHHHHHH not because it happened to me again tonight!! Yes you read that correctly...so who was tonights' lucky "shi**er?" Ohhh so I had in some Mom, guesstimating to be around 50ish....so she comes in and I start helping her find some clothes...by all intents and purposes she appears to be normal, one of our typical vacationers spending the week in La Jolla....blah blah of course she is from Arizona.....the "problem" occured once she was in the Fitting Room when I smelled a perculiar, yet familiar smell....i am thinking "omgggggggggg this is NOT happening to me"........so i wait the standard five minutes thinking the smell will dissipate....but alas it only starts to smell worse..........so my other girl comes back from her break 15 mins later and is like "what is that smell Brooke ??" because now the entire back of the store where the FRs are, STINK!!! and i just start laughing and explain that i think that the woman in the FR sh*t her pants...as this people was no fart.....so now the whole flipping store STINKS, and you would think that mama shi**er in there would hurry up and pay and leave...but no that would be too easy...soooooooooooo 50 ( LITERALLY bc i was watching the clock at this point )minutes later, having called myself and Katie numerous times to ask our opinions on different tops..are you kidding me???.....you would think she has enough common sense to know that 'we know'....i mean i was trying to keep a normal expression this whole time, as i could barely breathe...........and after five "opinions" on sizes, I had to pull rank and smack Katie on her, I could no longer help her, it just smelled so badly..........so she finally comes out to pay....wearing our shorts naturally, explainig "ohhhhhhhh i just wanna wear these ones out"...( yah no shi* lady, no pun intended ) and is clinging to her dirty pair...."oh i dont need abag for these"...um did you wanna throw them out in our trash??...bc that has been known to happen before...but no......so FINALLY she leaves...and i go on my yet again task of de-fumigating the store....i am telling you this is getting old for me - I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESERVE THIS ~ but i guess it's better than my sweet little friend/shi**er from June.............

Oh a day in the life of Brooke.......you gotta laugh with me on this one......